Or I'd've never realised that this is how I look....


The first pic shows 'me' (based on height, size on top + bottom, and leg length [ie SMALL]) ... in a weird dark catsuit...

The second highlights my 'problematic areas'.... great...

And the third shows some of the nice dresses they 'said' would suit various 'uglier' features of mine.... fabulous.


I feel so inner-ly happy. Not. But it's true - the dresses ARE pretty. I wanna wear a dress like that somewhere..... I wanna be able to AFFORD a dress like that.... humph.

Went to the doctors yesterday (about being dizzy after just turning my head and me generally  being a bit... unbablanced) AND I now have to have a blood test (way to make me more dizzy) and I have to have my neck/spine x-rayed... which'll be interesting. I don't think I'm worried or anything... it's just a bit weird, cuz I've never had an x-ray before... hmmm. Well at least it won't make me look fat, which everything does at the moment. I went through my entire wardrobe this morning trying to find something that made me look ok, and found myself wearing my school jumper and torn jeans, refusing to go out shopping. I have no-one to blame but myself, and I know that. I just keep making excuses for doing things or not doing things... I'm just so annoying! I find I'm like that with everything at the moment though. Not helping my sleep. Or stress. Or amount of work. Hmph.
It's just not nice knowing that you're slowly resembling an elephant more and more each day...
I just need to get back on track. If I get my act together and do my work, then I'll have more time to do something about my weight. I know it's never as easy as that, but that'll be my plan anyway.... it can't hurt to have a plan.

ARGH, I'm stressing out right now. I've been completely fine about the mocks so far... which was nice. Although it wasn't so much of a conscious effort as it was that I had a million other things stressing me out instead.
Mum's all stressy about the idiots down the road and the gates and the million things she reckons is gonna happen, but haven't. She's even looking at apartments to move to. Surely once the gates are sorted she won't worry so much? I mean it's only like 2 years til she was gonna move anyway, why can't she just wait?
So now my stress is pretty much about my french oral tomorrow. I mean, I'm normally scared shitless about them (for some unknown reason), but I haven't looked at it since our end-of-year exams in year 10, and it's stuck (annoyingly) in my locker. Fab.
So now I am DEFINITELY rethinking my decision yesterday (whilst watching Harry Potter 3 [cuz I'm cool ;)]) to finish the chocolate I had only been given. Dad being FAB brought some Saturday morning (cuz he knows how much stuff I'm 'going through' [not to sound like it's torture - cuz it's not that bad, just more of an annoyance - but I can't think of another wording] and I mentioned how all the Christmas chocolate had gone) and I managed to eat most of my share that morning. But don't judge - I was in so much pain that morning, I needed that happy chocolate hormone :(
SO now I'm stressing out (albeit quite a bit less now) and my stomach is rebelling and I'm feeling very un-french. Fabulous.

But on the up side.... err... there was something... ah well. Well it's not an actual thing, really. Just underlying the aches + pains, I'm actually still quite happy. :D So that's always nice :)

Why is everyone constantly going on about prom? I mean I know I'm no better right now, seeing as I'M talking about it.... but it's in a different way...so.... well ANYWAY.
It's sooooooo so far away, I mean Ms Calderbank was telling us to get a dress sorted now and everything! It's just...a bit upsetting... for me anyways. I mean - I'm more than happy to set up and/or help tidy up afterwards - if anything it'll be nice to see thesports hall looking so different. But... it's not like I'm gonna go... everyone'll look so pretty and gorgeous in their dresses with everyone... I just wouldn't really fit in. I mean... not that I think that the aim in life is to fit in... I just really don't think I'd enjoy it. For starters, I'd be left alone all evening :( And.. and.... I'd just rather if they'd leave us alone and stop pestering us about it as it's what...6 months away?
ALTHOUGH it is nice that we're the ones organising it... I mean - the people who are going will get something they want. And there's a sense of achievement there for those who worked on it, right?
I'm not saying it's a bad idea or anything - it'll be such an amazing night - but I just... I feel like they need to respect that...well they're just making me feel horrible :(

....when you have decorated tissues...



:D

...In lots of languages....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yX-9I1nYE_Q&mode=related&search= - French

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfV8Z76YVjE&mode=related&search= - Italian

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMThmLg_kkw&mode=related&search= - Japanese

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvudeYuHDZE&mode=related&search= - Hebrew

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEgcYpZ-9bY&mode=related&search= - Polish

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETN7bkA2lsE&mode=related&search= - Norwegian

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LRAzGEfoVk&mode=related&search= - Cantonese

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m74BudeZwqk&mode=related&search= - Thai

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgvo8ydXa-E&mode=related&search= - Arabic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVfZ8ZAQHPA&mode=related&search= - Croatian

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocS2BOY7TyM - Russian

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gh1oEv8C8ig - Swedish

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqlahngLAkY - Danish

They all talk so fast!!! I think English is just really simple... I s'pose the english version is quite fast compared to normal.... the most similar rhythm is probably the Swedish one, actually.

Gayatri - You will be eaten

Your death will be death by wild animals. You will probably get eaten by a bear or shark something because you don't know the natural safety precautions and are ignorant.

Eaten 100%
Disappear 80%
Bomb 73%
Posion 60%
Stabbed 60%
Suffocated 60%
Accident 60%
Gunshot 53%
Cut Throat 53%
Disease 33%
Suicide 27%
Natural Causes 20%
Drowning 20%

Ahahahaha. I've been trying to teach Gayatri to dance.... tis fun. Gayatri says: "I've been dancing alllllll morning like JLo!!!!" and she's now calling me JLo ...... no comment ;)

: (

I didn't want to post any of the photos Katie's already posted, so here are the ones Gayatri took....

Babs and Sita are SO cute :D


Yusra!!!! (not dancing :S)


Me and Katie - the party people ;)


Katie, Me and Annie...


Annie (yes - she IS unbelievably tall), Sita and Babs


And finally... Jade


:D

Well the party was SO much fun :D
We didn't get the photo cake though :( - The machine broke. However we did have some fun taking the pictures for it....


This is the one we were gonna have on the cake...


And this is one we took in Mr Stant's office :S


But yeah :D The party was good - people mingled and seemed to enjoy themselves. We managed to break the speakers though....hope they manage to get them fixed. We reckon it's cuz we turned it up too high - down to Sonia and her love for 'My Love', no doubt.
But Kit's Dad went to get her CD player, and the music came back...so all was good :D
I don't actually have any photos from it... hope someone managed to get some good ones. Also, I managed to escape all photos... pretty much... so far. Whether that's good or bad - you decide ;)

Yeah - so here's the badge Rosie Min made for me... as promised ;)

It's meant to be like SWEET 16... tis why there are sweets round the edge :D

I'm in quite a good mood today...still :) I think maybe it's just cuz I'm listening to all happy music.... :D Still a bit dubious about this photo-cake though. I mean it's a fab idea - what cake would be cooler? - but... well it's just me... and photos.....they don't really mix.. :S But hey - it'll be fun :D

And, despite being a little nervous about this whole dress-wearing thing, lookit the shoes!!!

...sparkly ;)

And ALSO, whilst I'm in an image-uploading mood;

I'm so HYPED!!!!

I dunno what it is but I feel all... lovely and..... :D
It's weird... I really have no reason to be. But here I am feeling all... AAHHHHHHHHH..... :D

Hmmm :)

Yeah, so it was my birthday yesterday ^_^ It was all good :D

I can't believe they made me a cake though!!!! How sweet of them :) Made me feel very special. As did my VERY AMAZING badge, made by Rosie Min.... which I will post a picture of as soon as I a) find the time and b) get my bluetooth working :D

Only bad thing really is that this new mp3 takes FOREVER to download tracks :S Oh, AND I forgot to make cards for our (form) stall at the Christmas fair.... knew I forgot something :S

Was SO much fun. I'm so hyped!!! :D

Yeah, so I went to the Ritz with my parents... it was so cool. Albeit a little embarassing when they brought out a little cake with a candle on it, and everyone clapped :S The harpist (ooh yes - there was a harpist ;)) played HAPPY BIRTHDAY....and then suddely there was a cake in front of me.. after that, everyone kept smiling at me :S But it was kinda nice at the same time, y'know?

So yeah, I'm all hyped!!!!!

*breathe...breathe....* ....hyperventilating :S

ANYways... happy ^_^

It's so weird how you can go from a really happy high, to really contempla-tative and cry-y....in a minute without knowing how....or why.

I got some summery PJs today, and I'm wearing the shorts over my jeans :D

BACK in England... and at school.... urgh. BUT (despite sudden dealines and being stressed off my arse) I'm still in SUCH a fabby (yes, FABby) mood! hmmmmm *wistful sigh*

I think it started with work experience - working with cute 6-year-olds at my old school? Didn't wanna leave! ;) And she said they wanted me to come and help out there whenever I could :D Yeah - that was fab. Than ITALIA over the half term.... didn't leave me with much of a break (so I have to wait like 7 WEEKS!!! til my next break from school :S) but it was loadsa fun ^_^ And unusual - it's always nice to do something a bit different for half term ;)

It's just nice to be back, methinks. Despite havine TECH TOMORROW ;( Never good :P

But whooooooo :D Spread the joyyyyyy :)

And no - I have not been drinking. :S

So everyone's off on their work experience.. is all a bit weird really. And the volume on my laptop's gone... NO MORE MUSIC!!!! :(
ANYways, I'm working at my old primary school - SUCH lovely kids. I mean.. they're a little slow on the uptake sometimes, but they're really lovely. You forget how much attention 6 year olds need... :S But they're cool. They're doing a Diwali year2 assembly thing on Thursday, so everyone's a bit manic rehearsing at putting up decorations in the hall.
But they're all 'Emma, Emma, EMMA!!!'... aw, bless 'em ^_^
So yeah, all's pretty good. Parents seemed to have forgotten about the whole ruined-my-own-birthday, disloyal-and-betraying thing. Which is also good :D

And, y'know - talking to new people... being sociable... it's all good :D

Ok, I didn't realise I was in SO much of a happy mood... I think the foreign alcy-hol as gone to my head :S

Everything is probably fine. I just... I can't help but worry. I mean - you do that, right? When something's happened - and it could've gone well or really badly - to one of your friends, you're instinct is to worry right? Or am I abnormal and/or really paranoid?
It's just unusual cuz she's not texting back, didn't come online when she was on the computer and has diappeared. I know she said 'don't worry, it's fine' but still. People say they're fine all the time. Doesn't mean something bad's not happened.
I'm just really getting stressed out now cuz I can't concentrate, and I don't think I can do anything else to help cuz I dunno what's gone on.
I just feel like that cuz I haven't spoken to her, I'm not being a good friend cuz I'm not there. I don't even know if she wants someone to talk to or... I just need to know. No details, just something.

...but now everything's gone wrong :S